Mind body balance
I’ve been anxiously waiting two weeks to meet with my new endocrinologist. I had fears of him telling me that something else was wrong with me or that nothing was ever wrong with me. I know, I know - totally irrational. It’s hard not to feel that way when I spent so much time trying to explain or convince previous doctors that something was wrong with me.
Then on top of that, I worried if I would even like him. Would he be personable? Would he listen to my concerns or blow them off?
As soon as he entered the room, I felt at ease. He treated me like real person - not like a chart that would occupy 30 minutes of his morning. He wanted to know first hand from me how I was feeling rather than using old test results to dictate how my recovery was or was not progressing. I’m a firm believer in treating the patient as a whole. The mind and body work closely together in the healing process.
We talked about the different medications I’m taking (prednisone, synthroid, prozac, mirtzapine & dexedrine - unrelated to Cushing’s) and a possible course of action to eliminate most of them from my daily regiment. That was music to my ears. It’s no fun having to carry a make-up bag full of medication with me where ever I go.
I asked him what his thoughts were on my recovery progress - particularly my non-weight loss. Overall, he thought I was right on track, that recovery (including weight loss) can take 1-2 years. He said something else that really home. A significant weight gain as a result of a hormone balance can be very difficult to loose. I’m probably not be one of the lucky ones that looses it naturally once the hormone imbalance is fixed. Damn it, that’s not what I wanted to hear.
But deep down inside, I’m glad he said it. Before getting sick with Cushing’s syndrome, I was fit - I worked out all the time and had done 2 triathlons. I really enjoyed setting a goal for my body to accomplish. And I haven’t done that in a really, really long time.
I think it comes down to a mind/body balance. I’ve been so consumed with the health of my body, that I’ve lost my mental balance.
Not anymore. Cushing’s has controlled my body long enough.
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3 comments
Kristin, what a good post. Hey, would you repost this on Herding Zebras? Just a portion and link it to here? Would you like to be a contributing author over there? (PLEASE???)
Hugs,
Robin
Gosh, it really seems sometimes like Cushing’s favors the superfit. I was always in the gym, a strict vegan, for god’s sake, and my body was truly my temple. Then I got Cushings and ballooned up to 230 pounds, I was in poor health, and looked an felt terrible.
I think a lot about the amount of control I had to have over my body pre-Cushings and then the sad, utter lack of control I had over it with Cushings. It’s interesting. I think now, two years after the surgery, I have found a better balance. I go to the gym, but I’m not quite as obsessive. I eat right, but I splurge all the time. (I know I’ll never look like I looked with Cushings!)
It feels really good to have muscle strength again. It’s really good to shop at regular stores. I’m grateful for anything now.I don’t have to have a perfect, toned, size 4 body this time around.
* Gina - it’s amazing how our attitude towards our body - with all of its imperfections - has changed with Cushing’s. It’s just doesn’t seem fair sometimes, you know, to end up with a body that we worked so hard NOT to have. But like you said, this whole experience brings balance into our lives.
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