My energy is in the C-R-A-P-P-E-R
I know that sounds harsh, but damn it, that’s how I feel.
I won’t lie, this past weekend was rough. I felt like I was back in my early recovery days, where it was hard just to get out of bed in the morning and all I wanted to do was sleep. Saturday morning I managed to drag myself out of bed at 10:30am (and I probably could’ve slept for another 2 or 3 hours).
All day long, I felt out of sorts and didn’t know quite what to do with myself. I started a half dozen projects that I didn’t finish, then got frustrated because I didn’t finish them - but I couldn’t finish them because I was too damn tired. Maybe my ADD was getting the better of me (seriously, I do have ADD - I was diagnosed with it when I was 14 and have been treating it with medication ever since).
Saturday night my husband and I went over to a friend’s house for a holiday gathering. It’s been ages since we’ve been out A-L-O-N-E (Mom’s & Dad’s out there, you know what I’m taking about). I had forgotten about being dog tired and was excited to spend time with my friends. That didn’t last long. A couple of glasses of wine later, I was ready to curl up on the couch with a blanket. Who cares that there’s blaring music and a room full of people 
We ended up cutting our fun short and made it home before the strike of…11pm. Uuggg I feel old - and I’m only 31 years old. I have a new wish this year. Santa, can you make me feel like I’m 20 again?
Sunday was a little more productive. I managed to finish one of the projects I had started the day before. By 3 o’clock, I was ready to call it a day. I was so tired that I could feel it in my bones. Plus, I had a little nausea on the side. That’s always fun. My endo warned me that I may feel nauseous or light headed from time to time as my body adjusts to being off prednisone.
Cortisol, prednisone, hydrocortisone - they’re all a necessary evil that I’d rather not have to deal with. But we don’t get to pick and choose these things, do we?
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3 comments
Oh Kristin, I’m soooooooooo sorry you feel like poop, I know its not fun at all. Just remember there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and you are oh so close to it now!! Keep fighting sweetie
Laurie
I’m a year ahead of you on the Cushing’s recovery, kid. I’m telling you, you are going to feel so much better in year two after the surgery. The whole first year of recovery, you’re in a melancholy daze. Your energy is still low.
It all picks up. I am now three years post-op (and I had a ton of complications with my surgery that included a bad infection. So I had two additional major surgeries after the initial adrenalectomy) and I feel great. I feel like my old self again. I can walk for hours, which is good since I live in DC. I can push myself at the gym just like in my pre-Cushings days and - get this - I wake up HAPPY.
Happy?!
Yeah, it all starts coming back. We are forever changed, but our old personalities find their way back. It’s really nice to not feel like an alien in my skin again.
There’s hope!
* Laurie - thank you, you’ve been a great friend and a tremendous support in my recovery.
* Gina - it’s so nice to here from someone who’s farther along in recovery than me and it gives me hope that things can only get better from here - thanks for sharing.
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